Some of you may know that I'm working this summer as an intern with USAID in Bangkok for the Embassy. I've spent the last week doing quite a few things on my own: finding my way around downtown, taking the various transportation systems places I've never been, cooking and buying my own lunches and foods, and basically just being highly independent. At work I've been compiling news sources, attending conference calls, and delivering mail. I also started another blog- fitness as my witness- which is a nutrition and exercise blog. I've been making my own fitness plans and workouts to lose a few pounds before college as well. For the first time in a while I feel like I am doing things that actually matter- The things I'm doing at work actually make a difference in the big scheme of things
I don't quite know how to explain it. I tried expressing it to Katie today as we were successfully navigating the BTS system here in Bangkok during one of the busiest times of the day. She seemed to understand it fair enough- there is just something invigorating about being able to do things on your own. It's refreshing knowing that you can survive independently if you had to.
Although I love my friends and family I admit that I don't often like relying on them for everything all the time. It's also tough for me right now when all my friends are leaving Thailand because I don't like getting sad about them leaving. I don't like how having them leave makes me miss them- as stupid and ridiculous as that sounds, I don't like 'missing' people because I can't control it. I can't do anything about them being gone and yet I find myself getting emotional about it. I don't like feeling vulnerable about it.
That being said, I'm growing up. I guess that's what this post is about. I'm learning more and more about what I like, what I'm capable of, and what I can handle. I'm doing more and more things completely on my own and I find it to be empowering.
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